You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
