I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
