You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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