is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
