Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
