Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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