she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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