Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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