It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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