then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize