Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
