he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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