ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
