You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
