I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
