But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No subtext here. People are naked.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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