Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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