That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
