just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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