wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
