People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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