On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
