Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
