So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
