i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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