I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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