just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
