I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I currently don't understand fingers.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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