ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
