Just cropdusted the office
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
