Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
