I want you more than these girls want KFC
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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