I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
