My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
