We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
