Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
