He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
