u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
