we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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