who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
