"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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