if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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