she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
