I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
