And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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