i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
