the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
