We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
