his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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