Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
