I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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