you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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