I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just cut my nipple shaving
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
