U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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