Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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