thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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