he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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