My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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