Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
