I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish my penis had a tongue
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
